Feeling Hole

Time to become whole.

This path I’ve headed down

will take me where I need to go.

 

Take me back to home.

It’s where I thought I was

but I don’t know because, what’s true?

 

Can we take it slow?

That’s what this was about, but

the words stuck in my mouth too long?

 

Chorus:

I can’t believe

what I see

happening to me.

 

I could concede

or be free,

that’s up to me,

 

What I’ll be

Is what I’ll be

if I just let it be…

 

Time to heal my soul

Although it might not show

I think I finally know what I need to do.

 

How are we to know?

It’s not like we ever did

regardless what we said we’d do…

 

We could have it all.

The paths that we are on

are close enough to walk as one.

 

Chorus:

I can’t believe

what I see

happening to me.

 

I could concede

or be free,

that’s up to me

 

What I’ll be

Is what I’ll be

if I just let me be…

 

Finally found my home,

and I’m feeling whole.

Baby, please don’t go.

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Draw Me Out

pull me closer

let me know

exactly

how you feel

 

with a kiss

you could

lift me up

from my knees

 

and if you won’t

please don’t

tell me so

 

hold me close

then let me go

I know not

what I need

 

I only know

that what I’ve

known is

not for me

 

but, if I’m wrong

please don’t

let me go

 

help me now

I’m bleeding out

and growing

so cold

 

draw me in

then tell me how

you need for

me to leave

 

love, if that’s

what you need

please

release me

 

and if you can’t

then don’t

let me go…

 

help me now

my bleeding heart

is growing

so cold

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walking distance

ready to walk from the distance

between us

but close enough to think I can still make it

back to you

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A Waking Life

Staring through the dark,

looking for a light,

I do not have the words

to wake you up tonight.

 

As I wait for dawn

I listen to you breathe,

and all I need to know

is you are here with me.

 

Working towards a life

where I can follow through

and be what I can be

as you become you.

 

Things I’d hold inside

I have to tell the truth,

as you kept me alive

and brought me home to you.

 

I do not have the words

to wake you up tonight

but, I know what I’ll say

when you open your eyes.

 

I love you.

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To Be Free

I love this part of you

that’s wanting to be free

and I want to give to you

everything that might mean.

Drag me from the cold

and warm me by your fire.

Would it be too bold

to want to be your desire?

When I lay down next to you,

the world, it disappears.

When I wake up with you,

everything is clear…

When you’re not near, you’re on my mind.

Which I don’t fear losing at all,

’cause it’s so clear that you are mine.

Somehow, we are become whole

a part from you and me, but

are we out of control,

or just trying to be free?

Drag me ‘long the coals

and heal me with their fire.

Help me open my soul,

to a love that will take us higher.

When I lay down next to you,

the world, it disappears.

When I wake up with you,

everything is clear.

When you’re not near, you’re on my mind.

Which I don’t fear losing at all,

’cause it’s so clear that you are mine.

When I lay down next to you,

the world, it disappears.

When I wake up with you,

everything is clear.

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Safe Word

I’d never thought about the walls closing in;

the loneliest fear of being broken again.

 

The tears may have dried, but their marks still remain,

changing the way I see everything.

  

You want me to forget but, clearly, I haven’t yet.

  

Where I begin, I can’t clearly know,

‘cause my head is a place I no longer call home.

 

It makes little sense, what I think I believe,

but these thoughts hold me down, and steal my breath from me…

  

and want me to forget but, clearly, I haven’t yet.

You brought me to the edge. Don’t push me or we’ll regret it.

 

 

Was it all that you hoped it would be,

with both hands on the wheel,

fifteen minutes of infamy

for twenty seconds of ‘no big deal’?

 

If the worst is over

what am I feeling?

If the worst is over

tell me, honestly…

 

was it all that you hoped it would be,

with both hands on the wheel,

fifteen minutes of infamy

for twenty seconds of ‘no big deal’?

 

You want me to forget, but clearly I haven’t yet.

You brought me to the edge. Don’t push me or we’ll regret it.

 

You want me to pretend it’s nothing. I can’t forget,

you brought me to the edge and pushed me, now, regret it.

 

shouldn’t ’NO’ be a safe word?

 

wrong time

wrong place

help me to feel safe

 

again

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A Piece of Me Apart from You

In the course of events,

when there’s cause and there is intent,

add a camera to the mix

and now something must be done

in the face of evidence

that no, we’re not free at all.

 

We’re told to get in line,

and we’re told not to speak.

When I dare to share my mind,

do you find me threatening?

 

A part of you is part of me.

Even though you makes me want to scream,

know that I would make amends

and work from that on which we both agree.

 

You’re the clear and present threat

‘cause you choose to have and use a gun.

I promise that I won’t resist;

I’m not fighting; didn’t try to run.

What I find self evident

is that I’m not really free at all.

 

I’m told to get in line,

and I’m told not to breathe.

When and if I speak my mind,

you try to censor me.

 

A part of you is part of me.

Even though you makes me want to scream,

know that I would make amends

and work from that on which we both agree.

 

Mother. Father. Please…

help me. I can’t. Breathe…

So many things that now I’ll never do.

I tried my best but, clearly, what’s the use?

 

Am I a victim to circumstance

or the straw that breaks the camel’s back?

Who could have thought it’d come to this

and who knows what can and must be done?

In the face of evidence

are we, really, free at all when

 

we’re told to get in line, and

we’re told not to speak.

If we don’t toe your line

you treat us like the enemy!

 

 

A part of you is part of me.

Even though you makes me want to scream,

know that I would make amends

and work from that on which we both agree.

Eye for eye, a pound of flesh

leaves us broken, blind and in belief

that each of us is ‘lesser than’

and in need of a good beating.

 

 

I can’t help myself

everything you say don’t make no sense to me.

I can’t rightly tell

if you are or aren’t my enemy.

 

All your stories, truth be told, are growing old, di’n’tcha know? You’ve told them all million times to me.

Bold opinions from above demand your faith and your guns. On your knees, do you still think you’re free?

 

I’m not being a part of this

doesn’t mean that you’re right, so

don’t label me a malcontent

doing this out of spite.

You may hope for a hastened death

to ensure that you’re saved,

but, if you’re waiting to live again,

you’ll have a hell of a wait.

 

You’ve spent a lifetime searching for the proof

that you’ve professed, now confess, there’s no truth…

 

I can’t help myself

everything you say, makes me want to scream.

Just ‘cause you can’t tell

don’t mean I didn’t try to keep my peace.

 

All that’s you is now exposed, open to a world that grows much colder with each lie that comes to light.

Sparks come from a lonely stone; slowly growing whispered tomes; tones moaned softly become deafening.

 

My not being part of this

doesn’t mean that it’s right.

You’re the source of your discontent

with noone else to blame.

And you might chose a slower death,

that still leads to a grave

but, if you’re praying to be born again,

you’ll have one hell of a wait.

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Store Bought Paradise

In the shadows of the night,

something felt quite not right,

you caught me by surprise.

   

When I first saw you,

you asked me who I am,

and if I’m happy

or if I’m just…pretending,

   

‘cause words don’t mean a thing, if you’re not listening.

   

Wake yourself, you’re sleeping through the smoke alarm.

   

Think I could bum a light

while I philosophize?

See, something’s not quite right

in our store bought paradise.

   

When I first started

it was just common sense

that all we needed

was one of everything,

   

but a life don’t mean a thing if it’s left wondering.

   

Wake yourself, you’re sleeping through the smoke alarm.

Play the man! The fire we start here will burn on.

   

Nobody listens  any more

and I can’t talk to the walls.

No one to hear what I say.

Can somebody please listen for me?

   

When I first started

it was just common sense

that all we needed

was one of everything

but, life don’t mean a thing if you’re not listening.

  

Wake yourself, you’re sleeping through the smoke alarm.

Play the man! The fire we start here will burn on.

   

Something is not quite right

in our store bought paradise.

Think I can bum a light?

Not the life that you wanted, but

the one that you earned.

Everything A to Z 

is a Pleasure to Burn.

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Kill or be Killed

I don’t use big words so that

you can hear me re-

peat the message

that you believe and will

set you free.

Thinking is a resource that just adds to your confusion.

You cannot outrun

(there’s nowhere to hide)

nor can you claim

it’s all by design.

I don’t use big words so that

you can hear me re-

peat the message

that you believe and will

set you free.

Learning that you have a voice can lead to a solution.

What you can do

to speak your mind,

is lend me your voice,

as I’ve given mine.

If all this is yours and there’s nothing for me,

I’ve nothing to lose so, how should I be?

Kill or be killed is no opinion.

Kill or be killed is just a fact of life.

Knowing when you have a choice leads to revolution.

You can’t outrun

proof of a lie,

all we’ve been sold

is part of the crime.

I don’t use big words so that

you can hear me re-

peat the message

that you believe and will

set you free.

Kill or be killed is no opinion.

Kill or be killed is just a fact of life.

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Holding Patterns

My prison can’t be seen

‘cause it’s a part of me.

No doors hold the key

to being a better me.

 

Patterns hold me.

 

This puzzle’s incomplete;

missing a center piece.

I try to deal with this

by steeling my mind

 

in a holding pattern.

  

You see, I’m consumed by these

moments of stress

helplessly needing to

do things again.

 

Over and over and

over and over.

Over and over and

over and over again…

 

a pattern holds me.

 

It’s not like want or need,

more like I’m on repeat

and I can’t do anything

until I get this done.

 

break

 

I saw you earlier today

and you said that I looked great.

It’s not as easy as it seems

being what I’m supposed to be.

 

lead break

 

You’re not close enough to see

what your words have done to me.

 

I give in.

I can’t win.

not again ,

I give in…

 

I can hardly breathe

if I don’t count to three.

If I miss a beat,

I have to start again.

 

Patterns hold me.

 

This prison can’t be seen

‘cause it’s a part of me.

A puzzle, incomplete,

trying for some peace

 

in patterns. Hold me.

 

You see, I’m confused by these

moments of stress

hopelessly needing to

do things again.

 

Over and over and

over and over.

Over and over and

over and over again.

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